You might be a cat lover if...

you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat.
you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your feet, even if you need to get up and pee.
you sleep in the oddest positions, just so you can accommodate your cat, even if he/she chooses to plonk itself in the middle of your bed.
sleeping with your cat and getting stray particles of kitty litter from your cat's claws in your bed doesn't bother you.
you take your cat's name as your online name.
you have your cigarettes outside regardless of snow or rain because your cats disdainfully wrinkle their adorable little noses when they smell smoke.
when you're telling a friend about having to take the cat to the V-E-T, you whisper and your eyes dart furtively around the room to make sure your kitty isn't within earshot.
you cried more than the cat did the day you dropped him at the vet's to be neutered.
you feel naked if your clothes aren't covered in cat hair. (the Mad Cybrarian)
if you own more than one cat and can tell which cat threw up just by looking at the pile. (kecia, kecia28@hotmail.com)
From Fluffy
- people say "what a lovely Angora sweater!" and you say "What Sweater?"
- the grocery consists of cat food, cat treats, cat toys, and mice.
- you know all the ingredients in meow mix by heart.
- you plan your schedule around your cat.
you don't care which part of her body Kitty may have licked before kissing you on the lips! (Bonita S. Smith, bssmith10@hotmail.com)
you nuzzle your sweetheart by rubbing your forehead on her.
you still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink the milk while he eats the cereal.
you feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the good china.

From Ashley, ashdakota4@aol.com:
- your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
- you take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the radio.
- you take your cat everywhere because you, I mean she have separation anxiety.
you yell at Snookums for talking too much. ( katy, katiekness@yahoo.com )
you apologize for yellin' at your darlin' and tell her you didn't mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants. ( love567590@yahoo.com )
when you are done crying you go get a towel to dry the tears off of her fur to make her happy.
when someone else yells at your cat for being bad, you say, "Be nice... she's only human."
your way of punishing you cat for bad behavior is a "Time Out" in the bathroom after explaining that she has been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff. ( Lisa, demick@netexp.net )
when your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family, you say, "It's just a phase she's going through." (Lisa)
when your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat pscyhotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and causing her disruptive behavior. (Lisa)
you have full conversations with your cats and you think it's normal. ( ash_pixie2@hotmail.com )
you think that they understand you and communicate back. ( ash_pixie2@hotmail.com )
you have more cat toys than clothes.
when you wear black people think that you're shedding.
you get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat. (Kristy, krisrnicu@aol.com)
you take more pictures of your cat then you do of your children. (Susie, sspurdy@yahoo.com)
you call home during your honeymoon and ask if the children have fed the cat and where is he sleeping and don't ask if the children are okay. (Susie)
your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles (Carrie, ccoleman@sageus.com)
you refer to your parents as "Grandma" and "Grandpa", but you have no children. (Carrie)
you force everyone who phones your house to listen to Snookums meow into the receiver. ( Zoe, zobrien@rocketmail.com )
your cat has more names than you do. ( Zoe )
you spend a date telling your date all about your cats and not one thing about yourself. ( Zoe )
each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual "special voice". ( Zoe )
you call your own answering machine just so that the cats can hear your voice. (Visitor Submission)
you post pictures of your cat on your web page and your spouse has no picture posted! (Michael A. Stuart)
you cough up hairballs daily too. (Kelly)
your cat has more say than your spouse. (Callie O' Brien, cowiejoe@aol.com )
you write poems about your cat. (Callie O' Brien)
your cat sleeps in your bed more often than your spouse.
you don't need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes you up before the alarm clock goes off.
you can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it does happen.)
you've stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that appear on your clothes could possibly come from. (Visitor submission)
you've stopped caring about the amount of fur on your clothing on the rare occasions when you actually go out in public. (Visitor submission)

Cat humor books: