You Might be from Iowa if..

  • you are from a town that has nearly as many churches and bars as houses.
  • you bought a case of beer in one of those little towns when you were 16.
  • you live in a beautiful old house with transparent plastic sheeting over the stom windows.
  • Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  • “Vacation” means driving through the Amanas, going to Adventureland or Okoboji.
  • You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
  • Snow tires are standard on your car.
  • You “go into town”
  • You have no concept of public transportation.
  • The only reason you go to Missouri is for fireworks
  • You wear shorts when it’s 50 degrees out in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60 degrees.
  • You have gone trick-or-treating in 2 feet of snow.
  • You “warsh” your clothes.
  • State Wresting was a big deal at your high school
  • You measure distance in minutes
  • The nearest Gap and Ann Taylor are at least 90 minutes away
  • Down south to you means Missouri
  • You know several people who have hit a deer
  • You were allowed to get a “school permit” to drive at age 14 if you lived more than a mile from school
  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Des Moines”
  • You could play “Iowa Bingo” with county road names when traveling from town to town (C65, D15, P36, N19, etc.)
  • You know the answer to the question, “Is this Heaven?”
  • Your school classes were canceled because of cold
  • Your school classes were canceled because of heat
  • You know what “Hawks” and “Clones” are.
  • You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way
  • You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day
  • You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July
  • Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks
  • You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
  • You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
  • You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:”Where’s my coat at?” or “If you go to the mall I wanna go with.”
  • All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
  • Detassling was your first job
  • You’ve ever been on a “Geode Hunt”
  • Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice
  • You say catty wampes instead of kitty-corner
  • You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both  unlocked
  • You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows
  • You drink “pop.”
  • When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, “It was different.”
  • Going to Target is your idea of FUN
  • Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as governor the whole time you were growing up.
  • You consider being called a “Pork Queen” an honor.
  • People from other states love to hear you say “Iowa” and other words with “Os” in them.
  • You carry jumper cables in your car.
  • You know what the numbers I-80, 280 and 380 mean
  • You know what “cow tipping” is