- YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME. (ERIC C.)
- oR YoU StIlL WrItE EmAiLs iN AlTeRnAtInG CaSe.
- you believe what people say in chatrooms is actually the truth, and that girl in it
really WILL love you for ever. ( cyberfan@gmx.net )
- ...even though she hasn't seen you and you haven't seen her! ( cyberfan@gmx.net )
- you're actually turned on by cyber-ing.
- you really believe the "get rich quick" scams you receive in e-mail will work.
( cyberfan@gmx.net )
- you think the "Get Paid to Surf" programs will make you rich.
( cyberfan@gmx.net )
- you're still signing up for *free* adult pics in your inbox.
- you think free hardcore adult sites actually exist. ( cyberfan@gmx.net
)
- you think that all pay sites have original pictures.
- you can't associate surfing with web pages. ( cyberfan@gmx.net
)
- you regularly report things you find on USENET to your ISP.
- you still believe in the modem tax.
- ...and you think you saw it on your last phone bill.
- you think "Jessica Mydek" is really the name of a little girl dying of cancer,
and you fill compelled to forward the e-mail about her condition to the entire company,
all of your friends, and their family pets.
- a *Virus Warning* that you once read now makes you panic whenever you
get a message saying: Returned Mail: Host Unknown
- every time you've posted a message to a newsgroup, you've been flamed by at least ten
people.
- you've been flamed several times, but you still don't know the meaning of the term.
- you post messages saying "UNSUBSCRIBE" to the mailing list that you've
subscribed to...
- ...spelled "UNSUBIBE," "UNSUBSCIBE," UNSBSCRIB," etc...
- ...and other newbies follow your example...
- ...and you shut down the entire list because of all the junk traffic.
- you think spam is a type of lunch meat. (Matt I.) ...hey... isn't this a redneck thing, too?
- you can't tell the difference between a web URL and an e-mail address. (hint:
e-mail addresses don't have http:// and web URLs don't have @'s)
- your message submission from a submit form says: "Enter your submission
here."
- you think flaming someone involves a lighter and an aerosol can. (Dane S.) ...
I am not responsible for anyone who tries this at home.
- you think that using your browser to go on IRC rocks. (Tom)
Honestly, IRC seems too newbie-ish to begin with. There are much better ways to waste your
time on the Internet.
- you are actually surprised that there are XXX sites on the Internet. (Inspired
by a submission by Tom) Think about it people: Lonely geeks + pictures of
naked women on the computer... Shouldn't the Internet be a virtual pornocopia?????
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