- you eat frozen pizza without microwaving it. ( you can cook those things? )
- you use a stapler to adjust the length of your trousers. ( Bert van Viegen, viegen@worldonline.nl )
- you get your furniture out of the clean up pile and then brag about how it didn't cost
you a thing. (Karen, KarenW@nac.net)
- you sniff your underwear to see if you can get by just one more day without doing the
wash. ( Lisa, demick@netexp.net )
- you actually use the following link: How to
 Get a date
- your refrigerator is packed full of tupperware dishes filled with molded smelly food
because you just don't want to wash them. ( Lisa, demick@netexp.net
)
- you've bought the Ziploc disposable plasticware so that you won't have to wash
containers with molded food.
- you open a food container in the frige to see what it is but can't, and then you smell
it and it knocks you unconscious. ( Lisa, demick@netexp.net
)
- the only thing that snuggles next to you in bed is your dog and/or cat. (Lisa)
- you actually have money in your savings account. (Lisa)
- you bought clean guest towels 3 years ago and they are still hanging up, unused. (Lisa)
- you haven't cooked in so long you've forgotten where things are in your kitchen and what
buttons to use on the stove.
- you own a home, but behave like an apartment dweller ( pazmenot@aol.com
)
- you've often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes a collection. ( sdali@hotmail.com )
- the only kitchen appliance you know how to use is the microwave. ( Jorge D. )
- you have a disproportionate number of plastic utensils and paper plates vs. real
silverware and plates.
- you haven't eaten a meal at home that wasn't in a disposable container.
- you don't know how to take out the trash. (tman399@aol.com)
- you have to look to see how clean your apartment is and not how full your calendar is to
decide when to go out on a date. (Barbie, ValleGrly@aol.com)
- you smell your clothes to see if you can wear them (again). (Barbie)
- you can clean engine parts in the bathtub without someone yelling at you.
- you buy a really big trashcan for the kitchen so you don't have to take it out as often.
- you amuse yourself by lobbing beercans so that they bounce off the wall before hitting
aforementioned trash can.
- it takes you ten minutes every six months to buy new clothes (Let's see, I'm out of
jeans, white T-shirts, black T-shirts, and socks..)
- you don't feel compelled to wear underwear unless you have a date that night.
- you car gets waxed more often than the toilet gets cleaned. (People clean toilets?)
- you belch and fart in public without apologizing. (Bert van Viegen, viegen@worldonline.nl )
- you turn your socks and underwear inside out so you can wear them twice as long. (Laura
Goodwin, LaLaura@nospam.cyberzone.net)
- you have the pizza place on speed dial. (Matt Duxbury, autobahn@navix.net )
- instead of cleaning for guests, you just keep the lights low. (Matt D.)
- paper towels double as dishes. (Matt D.)
- BEER is the freshest item in the fridge. (Matt D.)
- ...beer is the ONLY item in the fridge.
- you never listen to your messages when a female is around (Matt D.)
- your entire house is trashed except for you entertainment center, which
you lovingly polish every day (Amy R.).
- If cooking anything longer than five minutes is a waste of time (Marc
L., glumarc@aol.com )
- The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in (Marc L.)
- A dress shirt is "fine" if it only has one or two wrinkles in
it (Marc L.)
- You think you left your tie on the nightstand...or was it the closet? (Marc
L.)
- You don't feel guilty about leaving the lid up (Marc L.)
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