On Windows NT(4.0):

• The most stable operating system that will run absolutely nothing.
• ...But not on absolutely nothing:  384 MB RAM, Dual-PII 400, 11.4 GB HD recommended.
• All this from the company that abandoned OS/2.
• Plug 'n play? Are you kidding?
• All the headaches of Unix, but in a pretty, windowed environment.
• It doesn't support Plug 'n Play modems, but it will run on multiprocessor system.
• ...We support Plug 'n Play devices, just not Plug 'n Play...

On Windows 95:

• Don't get used to anything, we're just going to change it for Windows 98.
• The operating system that started out being backwards compatible, and ended up incompatible
• It's taken us this long to copy the work we did for Apple, and we almost got it right this time!

On Windows 97:

• Buy Windows 98.
• More vapor here than at the mouth of a gas can.
• It seemed reasonable back in '92.
• It's the government's fault that we won't be able to release on time.

On Windows 98:

• Buy Windows 99.
• Honest... We'll ship it to you someday. In the meantime, how would like to buy a copy of Windows 3.1?
• ...It doesn't require you to have Internet Explorer on your system.
• This time, it really is the government's fault that we're not releasing on time.

On OS/2:

• A Microsoft Beta Test at IBM's expense.
• The dinosaur that doesn't realize it's extinct.
• The root cause of the only guilty feelings Microsoft has: After all, they started it.
• We haven't changed our interface like Microsoft keeps doing.
• ...And it's not because we lack creativity.

On Unix:

• At least our operating system comes with source code.
• You want windows, we'll do windows.
• Commands that are rough on the memory, light on the fingers.
• The only glitch in the modern computer world that Bill Gates cannot be held responsible for.

On Visual Basic 5.0:

• The language to learn if you don't want to learn a language.
• All of the features of Object-Oriented programming, without the inconvenience of a structured programming language.
• Same old basic, with a few stolen ideas from Pascal and C++ and a few prepackaged API calls.
• Your applications will run up to fifty times faster--never mind the fact that they took an hour to run before.
• Any inadequacies in previous versions were not intentional, and absolutely not put there to make this release look better.
• Why use a compiler that includes standard controls, when you can purchase them individually instead?

On Visual C++:

• For all of you that are above "simple" development environments like Visual Basic, we bring you our version of C++.
• So improved, we dare you to try to do anything that we haven't already implemented.
• We don't really work on this product because Visual Basic is so much more profitable.

On Internet Explorer (4.0):

• Sorry that it took four releases <snicker> to get a product that works.
• 1,500,000 beta versions and counting!
• 2,000 "final releases" and counting.
• As a result of our recent success, we've hired one thousand monkeys previously assigned to duplicating the entire works of Shakespeare.
• We're not really interested in the browser business. We just felt like making another company suffer.
• Why use that other browser when we'll revoke your license to use our operating system if you do?